


A Pink Little Game.

by LostAndDowned



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Just A Dream AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2020-10-06 07:49:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20503421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostAndDowned/pseuds/LostAndDowned
Summary: He thinks to tell the gems and, honestly, he probably should but he just doesn't want to worry them if it's nothing.(Later, he'll scold himself because it's never nothing.)He doesn't say anything and lets the image of a girl burning as the chemicals around her suck the life out of everything and everyone rest in the back of his mind to pop up every time he closes his eyes."It was just a dream," he reasons, "Mom was cruel sometimes, but never anything like that. She wouldn't."As he gazes out the window at a world he can still remember as cracked and broken and toxic and he can't help but wonder, "Would she?"Thousands of miles away, a little girl with a tear-stained face and an upside-down gem stares dead ahead, refusing to move even a muscle.





	1. Just a Dream.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first Steven Universe fic I've actually sat down and written, so apologies in advance.

She'd come out of _nowhere_.

It had been the literal perfect day for Steven. Everything had been going so well.

No wonder it all came crashing down so quickly.

At sixteen, he thinks he should have known better.

Happily ever afters don't exist.

Spinel arrives and they fight within minutes. Both parties lose.

Everyone forgets and everyone forgives...momentarily.

A misunderstanding turns deadly and a broken little girl with too much power nearly breaks a planet. Both he and her nearly break themselves too, if they're being honest.

They fight atop the Injector. He sings and she screams and neither of them really know what to do. She admits that she wants to kill him, wants to hurt him, and—most importantly—wants to be his friend.

Then, the Injector explodes and Steven feels himself burn.

(Distantly, he thinks he can feel her burn too, but that's too much to process at once.)

Steven wakes with a jolt, falling out of bed and onto the hardwood floor.

"It was just a dream?" he asks no one in particular before blinking in realization and opening his window to...a perfectly fine planet.

He thinks to tell the gems and, honestly, he probably should but he just doesn't want to worry them if it's nothing.

(Later, he'll scold himself because it's _ never _ nothing.)

He doesn't say anything and lets the image of a girl burning as the chemicals around her suck the life out of everything and everyone rest in the back of his mind to pop up every time he closes his eyes.

"It was just a dream," he reasons, "Mom was cruel sometimes, but never anything like that. She wouldn't."

As he gazes out the window at a world he can still remember as cracked and broken and toxic and he can't help but wonder, "Would she?"

Thousands of miles away, a little girl with a tear-stained face and an upside-down gem stares dead ahead, refusing to move even a muscle.


	2. Break The Rules.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you know why I came?" Steven asks, stepping forward.
> 
> Spinel flinches ever so slightly and Steven hesitates, moving to the side a bit so she can see him better without moving her eyes. Without breaking the rules.
> 
> It seems to Steven that she's still playing Pink's game.
> 
> That maybe, in this not-a-dream world, she never really stopped.
> 
> That breaks his heart more than anything else could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is garbage.

He goes through his day without a hitch. He smiles and laughs, but he just can't forget the little gem's face.

Tear tracks made from thousands of years alone and a heart quite literally flipped upside down.

(He wonders whether he'd do the same, were he in her shoes. If he'd change so drastically even as a human.)

Under his breath, he quietly breathes, "It isn't fair."

"What isn't fair?" Amethyst asks and _oh, he's forgotten where he is._

Steven jolts a little bit because _yeah, he hadn't been expecting that_, but he decides to do something he normally wouldn't.

"What happened to Spinel?" he asks Pearl, directly and bluntly without much care as to how random it probably seems.

She might not even exist after all.

Pearl blinks and asks, "Where on Earth did you hear that name?"

(Steven wants to cry because she really _is_ real.)

(He thinks he'd rather her be fake.)

"What happened to her?" Steven asks, ignoring her question and replacing it with his own.

He worries that he's being a bit rude, but he thinks he might not have enough time to make sure he's polite.

"I'm not sure," Pearl obliges, "I suppose she's still on Homeworld. I'm not quite sure."

"I want to check," Steven says quietly, making his decision, "It never hurts to check."

"Steven, dude, what?" Amethyst asks and _okay, that's fair; he's not really giving them much to work with, after all._

Steven feels like he doesn't have _time_ to explain now. He feels like he _needs_ to get her out of there as fast as he can because, if she's in the garden...if she's in that _godforsaken garden_, he's not sure he'll be able to keep from crying.

(He thinks he might cry anyways.)

Steven decides that he'll explain later and he says, voice much shakier than what he'd prefer, "I need to know. I just need to check. Trust me?"

Amethyst looks at him for a moment and she can't help but do exactly that.

(_He's sixteen,_ she reasons, _he at least **kind of** knows what he's doing._)

"Okay," she agrees, "I'm in. When're we going?"

"I-uh-now?" he asks and _god, why does he think he needs **her** permission?_

("Ask Garnet, she wants to scream, "Ask Pearl! How the hell would I know!?")

(She wants to scream but even _Amethyst_ knows that's not a great idea.)

Amethyst looks to Garnet and the fusion nods, replying, "We're going with you. Now is best."

"Why her?" Pearl asks, clearly confused, "Why now? How do you even _know_ about her?"

"I sort of had a dream," Steven does his best to explain, "And I don't-I need to make sure-I have to know that she wouldn't have-I just...I need to be sure my dream doesn't come true. Just trust me? I _really_ need to do this."

He moves to the warp pad before looking back to them, clearly hoping that they'll join him.

"We trust you," Garnet supplies, moving to stand on the warp pad with him without much of an explanation.

Amethyst stares for a moment before shrugging and joining the two.

(_What's the harm,_ she wonders.)

(Later, she'll feel that she jinxed herself.)

Pearl remains stagnant for a moment, still clearly confused why such an absurd idea is being treated seriously without question, before moving to join the others only a few seconds after Amethyst.

Garnet knows best, after all.

(Little does she know that Garnet's nearly as lost as the rest of them, but Garnet knows that Steven knows what he's doing.)

(Probably.)

It's only when they take off to somewhere Pearl can't place, somewhere that very much isn't Homeworld, that she has to voice her concerns.

"Steven, where are you taking us?" she asks, voice admittedly slightly more shrill than she'd like.

"To Spinel," Steven supplies, gaze forward and alarmingly blank. The only reason Pearl isn't absolutely freaking out is that Garnet has yet to protest.

(Dully, Pearl acknowledges that, sometimes, Garnet has been wrong in the past.)

A few moments seem to drag on for a few millennia and then they're there.

What probably is ancient ruins accompanied by overgrown plants overtakes her vision and _by the stars, this tech looks ancient._

"The garden?" Pearl asks, now more confused than before, "Why would she be here?"

Just before Steven can speak, Garnet interrupts and says, "We can wait for our explanation. Right now, Steven has a job to do."

The other gems follow her gaze and Steven chokes.

"She really left you," he breathes so softly Pearl doubts the gem standing but a few feet away can hear him. Surprisingly enough, the girl stiffens. She doesn't move, but everyone notices the shift.

(They notice a lot of things about her, actually.)

Her eyes, Spinel's eyes, stay locked dead ahead and _by the stars, what happened to her?_

At first, it almost looks like she's crying. Black lines like tear tracks rake across her face and her gem...well, it's flipped. What should be an upward facing heart, what _was_ an upward facing gem, now lies just as upside down and listless as the little girl attached to it.

The silence grows for but a moment before a sob pulls itself loose.

Decades of grief, both his own and hers, hit him with the force of a semi-truck. It slams into him and he literally doubles over while he cries.

Both Pearl and Amethyst almost immediately move to comfort him, but Garnet raises a hand in what seems to be both warning and protest, gesturing instead toward Spinel.

The little girl doesn't move, but it looks like she wants to. Like she wants to hug him and comfort him and hit him all at once. Like she wants to but she can't.

It only takes a minute for him to calm down and it seems to Pearl that every second it does take adds a few thousand pounds of strain on the little thing.

(Dully, she acknowledges that Spinel's probably older than Pearl herself, but she can't help but get the feeling that this isn't a well-grown gem.)

(No, this looks and feels like a little girl who's barely got a grasp on what she can and cannot control.)

Steven takes a slow, deep breath before wiping his eyes and standing straighter, putting the pain aside for later.

"You good, dude?" Amethyst asks and Steven nods tensely. Spinel's eyes flit to him, locking his gaze, for but a moment as she breaks the rules and moves.

(Steven hates that he knows these rules. That _anyone_ knows the game they belong to.)

"You know who I am," Steven says, not a question about it, "And you know who my mother is."

Spinel says nothing, does nothing to acknowledge that he's even spoken to her but, somehow, he feels something shift again. She's more angry than dead right now and that means something.

The other Crystal Gems continue to watch the two in silence, even Amethyst aware that this isn't their turn.

"Do you know why I came?" Steven asks, stepping forward.

Spinel flinches ever so slightly and Steven hesitates, moving to the side a bit so she can see him better without moving her eyes. Without breaking the rules.

It seems to Steven that she's still playing Pink's game.

That, maybe, in this not-a-dream world, she never really stopped.

That breaks his heart more than anything else could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I writing this?


	3. Trusting You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The little girl thinks she wants to scream and it only takes a few seconds before she does, letting the noise surround her.
> 
> She knew she shouldn't have trusted him. Breaking the rules always hurt.
> 
> She closes her eyes so that maybe everything else will disappear when she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for this bullshit.

"Do you know why I came?" he asks, stepping forward.

The little girl wants to scream at him that _ of course _ she knows why he's come. The boy she hurt and the friends she'd never make have come to stop her from ever ending the game.

She thinks it's fitting, honestly. She never gets to win, but she'll never get to lose either.

While the thought rings bitter for Spinel, she can't help but appreciate it. Playing the game for so long has made her so very _ tired _.

When he moves to stand closer to her gaze she doesn't understand.

It's almost like he's trying to _ accommodate _ for her. But she knows that's not the case. It can't be if he's going to shatter her like she knows he will.

What's the threat of a gem ground to dust?

It's simple. There is none.

Spinel can't help but think that she'd rather be dust than this.

At least dust has a purpose. And dust doesn't play any games.

(She doesn't think so, at least. She's not sure yet, but when she's dust she will be.)

Pink's son, Steven, clears his throat and she remembers her visitors.

(She's not sure why she isn't allowed to think when she's about to be dust, but she's sure that's a rule he has but hasn't said yet.)

(Spinel is very good at following the rules.)

He steps closer and Pink's Pearl, the Renegade, shuffles nervously.

Spinel wants to laugh now. The Pearl thinks she's going to break the rules of the game just to hurt Steven? No, even if it is a dreadfully dull and lonely game, Spinel is not going to lose.

Steven asks softly, kind voice making her insides crawl, "Do you want to stop playing?"

Spinel doesn't reply, but she thinks he knows. Somehow, Steven seems to know the important things even when no one tells him.

(Spinel had never been great at knowing the important things and she'd probably be more worried if she wasn't still fretting over whether dust plays games at all.)

He stands in front of her, locking her gaze, and he asks, "Would you like to win?"

Win? This catches her attention. Spinel can't win. She's already broken all of the rules.

(But it's fine as long as she doesn't lose.)

She glares more than gazes into his eyes and he repeats, "Would you like to win?"

The little thing says nothing because she can't win if she talks. Well, she can't win at all, but she'll lose if she speaks.

She does nothing because moving breaks the rules and Spinel is awful good at following the rules. Even when it hurts.

(Especially when it hurts.)

Steven snaps his fingers in front of her face and she blinks, a horrid reflex she'd been _ sure _ she'd gotten rid of at least a thousand years ago.

He locks eyes with her again and taps her on the nose before announcing, "Congratulations. You win."

And that...he isn't supposed to do _ that _. He's supposed to make her into dust, not let her win!

Spinel's head spins and the garden tilts and Steven's panicked voice blurs.

The mind of a little girl can only take so much, you see. And the strain of changing the way she had, the way she _ is _, nearly sends fissures across her gem.

(Briefly, before she can poof, Spinel wonders if maybe she should make herself dust herself since Steven won't.)

When he touches her, lifting her as she crumples, the pain she'd buried deep digs its way out of her.

The little girl thinks she wants to scream and it only takes a few seconds before she does, letting the noise surround her.

She _ knew _ she shouldn't have trusted him. Breaking the rules always hurts.

She closes her eyes so that maybe everything else will disappear when she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for liking my trash...


	4. Hers One Day As Well.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spinel shatters and he panics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Update Alert!!!**
> 
> I've already told some of you, but I want you all to know that I'm going to do my best to stay committed to publishing biweekly until this is done. (If it ever is.)
> 
> I will admit that I'll probably end up updating more, though.

Spinel shatters and he panics.

Her gem lies intact as it clatters on the ground, fallen before Steven can snatch it, but he thinks the little girl might've shattered anyways.

(Everything about her just screams  _ fragile _ to him.)

He'd taken her and he'd admittedly shaken her and all she'd done was scream.

When she'd poofed, he felt something strange. Something terrible.

He felt like he was on fire and even though he knows the pain isn't his, he can't help but hope to god that it wasn't hers.

(He seems to know and feel a bit too much concerning the little heart-shaped gem in his hands.)

He notices that Garnet's holding him, she probably has been since he started retreating into his head to think, and can't help but turn to her for advice.

"Is she...is she going to be okay?" Steven asks Garnet, voice cracking in a way it hasn't in years.

Garnet pauses momentarily before telling him softly, "She'll be alright."

She lifts him off the ground and asks, "Where are we taking her?"

"Home," he breathes, "Let's take her home."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? You've just met her!" Pearl can't help but point out and Amethyst pipes in, "Yeah. Hate to agree with P too much, but the minute she stopped doing whatever  _ that _ was, she started screaming. Doesn't seem like a good sign, dude."

"I know her," Steven supplies, crinkling his nose, "We didn't  _ just _ anything. It's pretty complicated and I don't think I understand it too much either…"

Garnet speaks, her voice near-immediately smoothing out the tension, "I think we should trust in Steven. He's proven that he can make the right decision time and time again. I'm sure he'll make the right choice."

Steven glances between the warp pad and the little girl's life he holds in his hands and he doesn't even have to think.

"Home," he says again, "Let's take her home."

(And though it's only his, Steven can't help but hope she'll make it hers one day as well.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you all so much for the amazing comments!
> 
> (Just in case you missed it:)
> 
> I've told some of you, but I want you all to know that I'm going to do my best to stay committed to publishing biweekly until this is done. (If it ever is.)
> 
> I will admit that I'll probably end up updating more, though.
> 
> (Also, I recently started drawing Spinel and I think I might put in on here when it's done, even though it's pretty bad.)


	5. Kindness Or Cruelty?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inside the darkness, inside her gem, a little girl finds the answer to a question she'd asked silently in a garden not long ago.
> 
> She'd wondered who to hurt and know she knows.
> 
> Throbbing grief turns into a flaming rage and she decides that pink dust will litter the floor, one way or another.
> 
> (Diamond's orders be damned.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. This is not nearly as good as I would like, but here it is.

When the world fades to black, she hopes it means that he's finally killed her.

Spinel knows that he hasn't, but she can't help but hope.

She laughs a little inside because  _ stars, isn't that stupid of her _ ?

Even after all of this, all of  _ everything _ , she still has it in herself to hope for something she knows isn't ever coming.

She thinks she gets it now. Steven isn't the kind of person to shatter her.

"I'm tired," she wants to say, but can't.

"I just want to sleep," she wants to whisper into the night, instead only thinking and sinking into the black and bleak.

She wishes Steven weren't so kind.

After all, one person's kindness is another person's cruelty and stars-be-damned if Steven wasn't cruel.

She wishes he was her sort of kind or his sort of cruel. She wishes he would end this game for real.

Inside the darkness, inside her gem, a little girl finds the answer to a question she'd asked silently in a garden not long ago.

She'd wondered who to hurt and know she knows.

Throbbing grief turns into a flaming rage and she decides that pink dust  _ will _ litter the floor, one way or another.

(Diamond's orders be damned.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems I've gotten into a compliment and "thank you" war with some of the commenters. 
> 
> I've gone to war and I will come out victorious!


	6. Glossing Over The Explanation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She feels betrayed and tired and angry and sad and broken all at once and he can't help but feel like she should.  
She should be angry!  
She should feel betrayed because she was!  
And it wasn't fair and Steven can't make it fair and that in itself just feels so unfair that Steven wants to scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY that this took so long! I definitely did not meet my bi-weekly update idea. I'M SO SORRY!!!

As he stares at her gem, a sparkly little pink heart, he feels like she doesn't want to come out. To be precise, he feels like _ he _ doesn't want to come out. However, he quickly realizes that—no matter how ridiculous it sounds—these are Spinel's emotions and not his.

She feels betrayed and tired and angry and sad and broken all at once and he can't help but feel like she should.

She _ should _ be angry!

She _ should _ feel betrayed because she **was**!

And it wasn't fair and Steven can't _ make _ it fair and that in itself just feels so unfair that Steven wants to scream.

(The unfair feelings are his. He knows that Spinel thinks she deserves what she has. He knows that she deserves so much more. So much more than his mother and the empty pain she seems to bring to _ everyone _.)

(He can't help but feel bitter because his mom's broken so many gems both literally and figuratively because she just couldn't get her shit together.)

(Why should he have to take her place?)

As he stares at her gem, a sparkly little pink heart, he feels like he wants her to come out. He feels betrayed and tired and angry and sad and broken all at once and he's sure that at least _ some _ of Spinel's emotions are also his.

He thinks maybe he _ should _ be angry.

(But he can't be angry if he needs to lead and fight and help all the gems he can.)

He thinks maybe he _ should _ feel betrayed because he **was**.

His mother had left him and, whether or not she wanted to, she left him to deal with her mistakes.

(And _ maybe _ he's not alone. _ Maybe _ he has friends beside him who can and will help him as much as they can.

But, still...he can't help but feel like she's abandoned him alone for so long and...)

(Okay, maybe that part's a bit more Spinel than him.)

As he stares at her gem, a sparkly little pink heart, he can't help but ignore the other gems in the room staring at him with quickly-increasing concerns. Finally, one of them breaks the silence and snaps him back to reality.

"So, where exactly did you find this gem?" Peridot asks and _ when did she get here? _

She must realise the confusion on Steven's face because she explains, "Garnet called us over here. She said it was important, but all you've done since we got here is stare at it."

Lapis sits on the floor across from him, crisscrossed with Peridot in her lap. Normally, he'd laugh. Now, though, he can't seem to even smile at them. Bismuth, a solid presence from his right, clears her throat lightly to remind him that there are more important things right now.

(Like how he found her. How he knows her at all.)

"I-um-it's a little hard to explain," Steven says and he can't be sure _ whose _ anxiety it is that's seeping into his voice, "Mom sort of...left her on a floating garden in space?"

"Alright. So you found her how?" Pearl pries because _ yes, this is what she's been wondering _.

Steven sighs and explains, "I don't really know. I sort of had this dream that was kind of like the one with Lapis, but none of it was really happening. I think that maybe she has some sort of illusion ability? It might be better to ask her."

"Yeah, but should we?" Amethyst asks and the room turns to her. She defends, "I mean, last time you tried that she started screaming. Not sure how promising 'talking to her' is gonna' be, dude."

Pearl turns to Garnet, asking, "What should we do? What's best?"

"I don't know," Garnet breathes, much to the surprise of...well, everyone, "I can't see this future anywhere. It might take a while before I can figure out what's going to happen."

"That's...concerning," Pearl says, more than a little worried.

(Isn't all of this?)

"Did you poof her?" Bismuth asks, curiosity and a little bit of anxiety coating her words like salt to fries or syrup to waffles.

(Why is he thinking about food now? This _ really _ isn't the time.)

"Never," Steven replies, without missing a beat, "She did it herself."

He can see the exact moment his words register and her face crumples. It takes a bit of a moment before he realises the implications and he hastily corrects, "Not on purpose, I don't think."

"Oh, thank fuck," Bismuth replies, much to Pearl's spluttering disdain.

"Yeah," Steven agrees, "I don-"

He means to finish talking to them, he really does, but the bright pink glow coming from the gem in his hands halts any and every thought he could have.

It glows and it rises and the broken gem made from millennia of anguish stares back at him with wild and hunted eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!


	7. Make Me Sick.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis feels a bit of bitter panic as it twists and turns in her (metaphorical) stomach.
> 
> (For as impossible it should be for gems to be sick, Lapis thinks that this entire situation just might make her.)
> 
> It was clear what Spinel wanted.
> 
> She wanted exactally what Lapis had wanted just over two years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry I've taken so long to update!
> 
> Also, I UPDATED CHAPTER 2!
> 
> (I actually wrote chapter 2 first, so the writing style was a bit different and it was bugging me, so there it is and here this is.)

Lapis thinks that Steven probably should've prepared them better for the pink little gem. She reforms and Lapis realises that she's _never_ seen anything like her.

She has three black lines dripping from her eyes in a way that resembles tears.

(Or the human girl she'd seen crying while wearing makeup.)

(Lapis likes makeup sometimes. It makes her feel fresh and new and different.)

(Other times it makes her feel like a dressed up toy.)

The gem—Spinel, she remembers—has her eyes open comically wide, bright pink irises shining with a dangerous glow. She looks hunted and afraid in a way Lapis understands all too well.

(Sometimes, she sees that same look reflected in the mirror on particularly bad days.)

Lapis is familiar with that look and the behaviour that goes with it.

That's why when Pearl approaches the panicked gem, Lapis knows she's fucked.

The pink girl attacks, clearly based on some kind of conditioned reflexes of fight-then-flight, and Pearl barely manages to dodge her arm that extends as Spinel uses her own body as a weapon.

(Lapis can't help but be reminded of the human toy Steven had gifted her not too long ago. One with lots of metal circles connected to make a bit of a spiral that, when you let go of it just right, could move and stretch and extend just like this gem can.)

The other gems are quick to stand, but—with a quick gesture from Steven—are slow to fight.

The second time the gem swings, her eyes dull and glassy like a doll's, Garnet barely manages to catch the girl's fist.

Luckily for Spinel, Garnet wasn't wearing her gauntlets.

Unluckily for them, this is the exact moment when everything goes to shit.

Lapis watches the _exact moment_ where the pink girl goes from panicked fighting to an outright terrified and desperate attempt to save herself.

(Lapis can't help but internally note that, _maybe_, making her feel trapped and confined isn't the _best_ idea.)

Spinel's pupils grow and shrink and grow and shrink and Lapis takes a shaky step back.

(She _knows_ what's about to happen.)

(She can _feel_ it.)

The gem snatches her hand back, despite Garnet's grip, and lunges at Steven. He doesn't even flinch because _he gets it now_.

The little girl dodges the oncoming attempts to subdue her with ease, quickly darting toward Steven and..._right past him?_

Lapis locks eyes with Spinel and her heart stops. (Metaphorically, of course.)

The little gem's intentions read just as loud and clear to Lapis as they do to Steven.

(While he'd been staring at the heart-shaped gem, Pearl had voiced her concerns that Spinel might try to hurt them. Steven especially.)

Lapis feels a bit of bitter panic as it twists and turns in her (metaphorical) stomach.

(For as impossible it should be for gems to be sick, Lapis thinks that this entire situation just might make her.)

It was clear what Spinel wanted, and it wasn't for Steven to hurt.

She wanted _exactally_ what Lapis had wanted just over two years ago.

Spinel wanted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This was how this chapter was originally going to begin, but I changed it:)
> 
> When the gem reforms, Peridot realises that she has no idea what Pearl was talking about when she compared the heart-shaped gem to a child while Steven was busy staring at the gem.
> 
> This girl, the one standing in front of her, is far too scared for any child Peridot's ever seen.
> 
> (To be fair, she's only ever seen the humans in Beach City, so maybe she's a little biased in that regard.)
> 
> The gem's eyes flicker back and forth between every person in the room with an expression she's only ever seen on animals before.
> 
> And, on rare occasion, Lapis Lazuli.
> 
> (That realization connects a few more pieces of this puzzling situation and she doesn't like how this picture is looking.)


	8. Coat It In Kerosene.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She thinks that the gem with drowning eyes just might be able to teach her how to keep her head above the waves.
> 
> (It's a good thing she coats herself in kerosene made up of violence and vengeance and panic, setting fire to the ground before jumping into the neverending mess of ocean.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, two consecutively is pretty good for me, actually. Hope you like it.

She's far too panicked to notice when one of the gems finally steps closer to her.

The Pearl speaks so quietly and so softly and so kindly that Spinel's terrified mind shoves her very existance to the side so that she can focus on the tense and the silent and the livid threats in front of her.

When Pearl stands so closely that Spinel's nearly blocked off from the other gems, her brain is forced to register the thing nearest to her; gentle or not, the other gem could probably hurt her.

(Why is she so complicated? Them hurting her makes her cry. Her hurting them makes her cry. It's only when it's her hurting her that she ever feels better.)

(She wonders how much that matters.)

The gem in front of her reaches out tenatively and Spinel's fist flies through the air without a thought. The Pearl dodges the strike but that hardly matters.

She winds up for the next one, her mind turned off and tuned out while her body does the thinking for her.

Her fist flies out and finally, _finally_, she manages to hit something. It feels nice, the solidness of the contact, until she tries to pull her arm back to land another one.

Whatever it is that she'd hit latches onto her wrist and refuses to let go, even when she pulls.

She can feel it when everything switches from a mindless battle to _by the stars, they're actually going to kill me_.

(She finds it a little odd that she's so afraid of anyone killing her when-)

Something snaps inside her and she yanks her limb from the threat's grasp, looking around wildly for some kind of escape.

A door. She finds a door and in her way is...Steven?

(_"It's pink,"_ she thinks, _"His gem's pink too."_)

She's not sure why that's important, but apparently it is, so she sets it aside and makes a few empty promises to come back to it later.

For now, though, Spinel just needs to leave.

She lunges toward the door and dodges the many threats that try to keep her captive.

(She doesn't need another captor. She's having a hard enough time in the confining catacombs of her own mind, thank you very much.)

Just before she reaches the door, her eyes lock with a set of startlingly blue ones and shivers dance down her spine like she imagines spiders would. The eyes are dark and empty and deep and reflective and absorbant and terrifyingly understanding.

Spinel thinks that the blue-haired gem with the scary blue eyes just might have something similar inside her. An empty, wandering mess that might find fuel for a firey rage until they realise they're burning everything around them. Everything they love.

She thinks that the gem with drowning eyes just might be able to teach her how to keep her head above the waves.

(It's a good thing she coats herself in kerosene made up of violence and vengence and panic, setting fire to the ground before jumping into the neverending mess of ocean.)

She runs and runs and doesn't dare to stop until she's far from where she began and somewhere she remembers vaguely from the scenario.

All around her gems mingle without so much as a glance to her. She looks around and spots a rather interesting and incredibly convienent building.

(She thinks it's just a little ironic that she'll say goodbye somewhere named after the very place she said her first hello.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This was how this chapter was originally going to begin, but I changed it:)
> 
> She reforms fluidly, rising and forming and landing with all the grace and finesse of a limbless cat.
> 
> (Spinel can't help but feel pleased that she at least managed to land on her feet this time. The last time she'd had to reform...now that had been a disaster.)
> 
> A panic made of terror and anguish and the desperateness of her own survival collides into her as she finds three of the gems she's never met outside of the confining catacombs of her own mind.
> 
> Her eyes flit from gem to gem to Steven to gem to gem to gem to Steven again and again and again. Her gaze shifts so quickly and so frequently that she barely even notices the gem stepping closer.
> 
> When she does, though, all of her logic quickly dissipates.


	9. I'm Sorry.

So, some of you really like this story!

If you do, I'm sorry to say that it is in the process of being re-written and it is pretty different in style and character for Spinel mostly in the other story.

If you're interested, check it out at :

<https://archiveofourown.org/works/23332039/chapters/55891558>

or just click on my profile. _"It's Lost To The Stars."_

Hope you don't hate me! Happy reading.

**Author's Note:**

> There will not be more and it definitely is all be terrible.


End file.
